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The Aeroplane: commencement

Statistics of the class of 1912,   p. 33

Page 33

T     H     E       A    E    R    0    P    L    A    N     E 
#tatiatirs off th0  CUPS of I 912 
These statistics of the illustrious class of 1912 are written as 
true facts. Of course some of the*measurements and weights were 
hard to find out and especially the ages of some of the girls. But 
here are the main points of excellence, and unexcellence of the 
Senior class of 1912: 
The combined weight is 7,408 pounds. This is nearly four tons 
so you can see for yourself what a valuable class this is when it is 
said that man is worth his weight in gold. The average weight of 
each Senior is 131 pounds. 
The height of the Senior class, if standing on top of each other, 
is 344 feet. This is three-fifths as high as the Washington monu- 
Herbert Webster, who boasts that he must stoop to go under a 
six-foot door, is the tallest member of the class. Our giantess is Mary 
McGrath, who is gross in more ways than one. Mary is 5 feet, 10 
inches tall. 
The entire Senior class if huddled together would cover an area 
whose circumference would be 2710 inches or 226 ieet. This is over 
twice the circumference of the largest tree in the world. 
The combined age of the class is 1,074 years. 
If one person could have had all of these years added onto his 
life he would have been born about 200 years after Charlamagne 
was crowned emperor of Rome. 
The class of 1912, all holding hands would reach 360 feet or 55 
feet farther than the height of the Statue of Liberty. 
The shining lights of the class number two. They are Hazel 
Streckenbach and Abe Rosenthal (who is sometimes known by the 
name Rosy Abenthal). There are 12 blondes, 45 brunettes and one 
We could neither estimate nor discover the senior-girl member 
of the class as it was a kind of a difficult question to ask. The 
honors among the girls are equally divided for the youngest, Clare 
Smith and Pearl Evreats both being born on the same day. They 
are 16 years old. The youngest boy member is John Harold Win- 
ter, who is the same age as Clare and Pearl. 
We have a great many other noteworthys in this wonderful class 
such as: "The Greatest 'Fusser' in the world"-George Schwartz.
"The Most Wonderful Talker in the Universe"-Clarence DuChateau.
"The Man With the Most Understanding"-Reynolds North. (He 
wears No. 9's.) "The Slim Princess"-Vivian Donovan. "The Human
Graphaphone"--Pearl Evreats. "The 500-pounder"-Betnard Guein-
zius. (He's getting thinner now!!-anti-fat?.) "The Ladies' Man"-
Ted Gavin. And last but not least, "The Wild Man from Borneo"-
Rupert Kapp. 
Of course these are not all the wonderful curiosities that this il- 
lustrious class possesses, but these are the chief ones. We think 
that from these statistics and facts about the class and members of 
the class, that the gentle reader can gather that there never was a 
class like the glorious class of 1912 and there surely never will be. 
Page Thirty Three 

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