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Graeve, Oscar (ed.) / Delineator
Vol. 119, No. 1 (July, 1931)
[Continued articles and works], pp. 46-71
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Page 46
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"Yes, Rome was once a sea port and Ostia full of ships . . . Mr. Hale, I think we have met before, at the English Speaking Union dinner in London, when you gave a fine brave speech, I thought, about the differences between England and America. I have never been to your country, but I have read this great book of yours, and I have also lived in England, and I grow weary of the polite lies the two countries tell each other at public dinners. Your speech was most refreshing." TIMOTHY was pleased. "Mr. Uh-I'm afraid I did not get your name last night?" "Andrea Palladio Venzo, named, you see, after the great Renaissance architect by my hopeful mother. But unfortunately I have always been more interested in fallen old stones than in erecting new ones." He spoke so gently, looking from one to the other with such kindness, that Susan for- got that she and Timothy were enemies, and they all three exchanged easy phrases until Professor Venzo arose to go. "How about next Sunday for our excursion to Ostia? The ruins will be closed to the public, but I can use my permit, and we shall be undisturbed. Then we can lunch at a little trattoria overlooking the sea. I am unfortunately a poor man, and I have no motor car, but to go in the omnibus is not bad and perhaps its foreignness will amuse you. It is not at all like the Russie," and he smiled slyly at both of them and was gone. "What a sweet, sweet man," said Susan. "And yet not at all effeminate," agreed Timothy. "Did you notice the ribbon in his buttonhole? Probably a war hero-I thought he limped a little. I hope we meet some more Italians like him. We might take Clare Oliver along with us on Sunday." Crash! They were back in the dark alley of the night before. "Timothy, all day long we have carefully ignored last night's affair. I think the time has come to discuss it, don't you?" She made an effort to keel) her voice casual. "I suppose so, though I was hoping you'd have the sense to continue to ignore it." "Ignore your flat-footed statement that Sou were not glad to see me, and you ignore nY blow?" The main issue seems to be that you saw nw kiss the girl.. I have been kissing girls , and on ever since we have been married- ai presumably you have been kissing men." But, Timmy, Timmy, I haven't been! I haven't kissed a man since that rainy after- noon when I publicly promised to love you for better or worse." "More fool you." "But Timmy, we have always told each other everything, seemed to tell each other everything, you have been father and mother and God to me, and now-oh, it is impossible you have been lying to me all these years!" Susan shaded her eyes with her hand so that the chess players might not see her tears. "No, I have not been lying to you all these years. I have loved you to the limit of my capacity but you have shown me repeatedly that that capacity was not enough. Not always in words, but with that polite smile of yours which disapproved of my friends, my ties, and my table manners. Do you remember that first picnic of ours when I met you in the Grand Central Station, dressed in an old suit and a cap because I didn't dare risk spoiling my only decent other one, and you looked at me as if I were a filthy beggar clawing for alms at royalty's cloak?- Remember?- At that moment something warned me you were not the mate for me and then your cold eyes softened-in pity', I suppose-and I was glad to forget ... Sometimes I think the only thing of mine which has found favor in your patrician eyes has been my books-oh, and of course Roger! Are you, by the way, teaching him to dislike me?" "Tim! you are talking to me like a stranger. I don't know how to answer you." She clasped and unclasped her hands. "Unique occasion! You're pretty good at making answers, rapier ones that wound every time." Susan stared past him at the evening crowd passing the caf6 window. "I am in Rome in a cafe. Tim is saying things to me he must have been thinking for some time. He thinks he is in love with the Oliver girl, perhaps he really is. . . . At this moment he hates me, partly because he loves her. I must not cry. Quiet, quiet." Aloud she said: "Timothy, you yourself have admitted that you have a small-town complex which has colored everything you have done all your life, except perhaps your writing.-Yes, that too.- Your lack of physical coordina- tion which you have never tried by exercise to improve has plunged you into all manner of social complications out of which I have had to haul you from time to time. Quite human- ly you resent this. Perhaps I have not done the hauling with sutlicient tact and tender- ness, but you are wrong, dead wrong, if you believe I think less of you for them. I never feel superior to you, in fact I'm quite a humble lil feller-" Tim snorted. "Yes, I am. It's just that I am incurably immature. I am still the little girl pinning up her curls and wearing mother's long dress, and playing lady. Unfortunately I like to play great ladY, instead of Mrs. Jones calling on 11rs. Smith, or Red Riding Hood, or the cindery part of Cinderella . . . I've seen you often enough regarding with a sardonic eye my posturings, my silly boastings, and I have felt despairing of my inability to grow up, but I have always been on to myself, and I have never hated you for seeing through me-as you are hating me now." "N-no, I don't hate you, just bored." She flinched, and then smiled bravely. "Touch !" Impulsively Timothy put his hand over hers. "I didn't mean that. I said it to hurt. I've never been bored by you, often as I've wanted to slay you . . . But what I mean is that you are not proud of me, only of my successes. And I've been so proud of you, talking about you to people before you arrive so that they always say, 'So this is Susie!' Mrs. Oliver said it only last night." "Hut," she cried eagerly, "I talk about you all the time, because I think you are so ex- citing to talk about-you're the most excit- ing person in the world! Oh dear, I'm going to cry. We'd better get out in the street." "No, let's have something more. This is a nice cozy place to talk, no family around." "Tim, I've just thought of something. I know you always talk about me to others, especially when we have been separated for a while, but when I meet these people I have a sense of their resisting me, being wary of me, and I have to overcome that before they really like me-that is, if I have the chance to meet them several times. But if it is only one encounter they carry away with them the bad impression you have created of me. Yes, bad. For what you say is this: 'Susie is a regular feller but she has a high-hat English way of saying howdyuhduh which may put you off, but don't let it because I want you both to be friends.' Timothy listened to her exposition gravely. "You are quite right. I am sure I prejudice my friends against you with my explana- tions-" "Don't you see you insult me by explaining me?" "yES, I see now that I do." He sounded for- lorn. Susan's hand instinctively tucked into his arm, then she withdrew it quickly, remembering. "But just the same, Sue, that howdyuhduh of yours does conceal a better- than -you -are - until- you -prove -it air, and people sense that." "Oh, I know it though I hate it, but people don't like the way you bust in and call them by their first names after fifteen minutes. Neither of us is perfect, but I thought we loved each other enough to accept each other as we are." "But you don't accept me as I are!" "You think I don't accept you as you are! . . . Oh, this is getting us nowhere." Susan was in despair. "There are just two things to discuss-one, that you have ap- parently been licking your wounds for some time, and the other (Turn to page 49)
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