A Little Journey On Skates

DECEMBER 31st, 1894.

Thiensville, Wisconsin

To be named the chronicler of a certain adventure, incident or event, in which a number of people are directly interested, implies a responsibility of no trifling order--... It is therefore with some hesitation that I undertake to sketch the events of a day (the first day of the new year to come) on which it is proposed by the young fellows of "our office" to start upon a "long pull and a strong pull" upon skates, for eighteen miles up the Milwaukee River to the village of Thiensville. We have ordered by telephone a smoking hot dinner, to be served at two o' the clock in the tavern of the place, kept by one Memmler, a personage of local character, known to his friends by courtesy as the Mayor of Thiensville, and variously called Governor and Judge. It has been suggested by one of our number who has dined at Memmler's tavern before, that a judicious use of titles may have the desirable effect of reducing the bill of expense and at the same time of elevating the standard of the bill of fare. ...

... As I have said, a smoking hot dinner is ordered to be in readiness on our arrival--a well browned turkey gobbler to be placed upon the table whole--I myself intend to illustrate the graceful (sic) paterfamilias like art of carving the same--some roasted sweet potatoes, and "whatever else the landlord may desire to serve withal," though not overmuch; for we are modest gentlemen and would not willingly shock the jurisprudence of even a country landlord, nor begin the new year with over eating--an evil habit and one to be greatly discouraged from many bases of reasoning. ... However we have also stipulated for a pudding and some dark brown cafe noir, but it was thought best to say nothing of demi tasse as it might cause our honest host some unnecessary perturbation of mind. Bearing in mind the rurality or suburbanity of the locality of Thiensville, we have also carefully refrained from suggesting other liquid accompaniment to our dinner than the dark brown black coffee with cream colored cream above referred to, preferring not to invite instant death at the proverbial forty rods, nor slow capitulation to a siege by blood poisoning through the absorption of unknown and strange liquors. In order however that we may not lack altogether that cordial reception at the end of our long journey, which alone is to be found in "the cup that cheers", it is proposed that one of us carry a knapsack with the necessary "spirits", of good familiar stock, together with certain spices and other condiments not likely to be found in quality on unclassic ground; from all of which the writer has been accorded the pleasing if responsible duty of constructing a tenable Tom and Jerry on the arrival of the party at its destination. ...

Frequent observations of the sky and temperature indicate a continuance of the dry cold air that gave us the ice and suggested the trip. The order is to meet at the office at nine o'clock sharp, dressed cap a pie in proper skating rig, light marching order as far as possible, and with the steadfast purpose of reaching Thiensville, a well earned rest and a good dinner, with good keen appetites and a lustry thirst--"root, hog or die," as they ineligantly express it out west. ...

...And now we're off, at least we hope to be at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning. If "dull care" o'ertake us, it will have to get its skates on. ... There is still a dim impression upon my mind of a skating chorus I once knew, but it is very dim, in fact I can recall only a fragment and this needs the music to give it the proper swing. Still here it is:

Swiftly gliding / Darting to and fro / Like the wintry wind / Over the ice we go.