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Strauch, Dora; Brockmann, Walter / Satan came to Eden

Chapter I: The end of one life,   pp. 1-17

Page 9

                   The End of One Life                      9 
and besides this, I could see that such an arrangement would end 
by strangling us in bonds like those of ordinary marriage from 
which it is so hard ever decently to escape. If I was to do my share 
in making this man happy, and if I had any happiness to expect 
from him, then it could only be in conditions entirely different 
from those that I had experienced in marriage-quite free, untram- 
meled, and from first to last unconnected with any preconceived 
ideas of bourgeois home-making. 
  Up to this time I had suffered great pangs of conscience even at 
the thought that I might leave my husband. On the other hand, it 
had never occurred to me to keep him in the dark as to my feeling 
for Dr. Ritter. In fact, as soon as I found out I loved this other 
man, I told my husband so. He furiously forbade my seeing Dr. 
Ritter any more, but when I refused to comply with his wish he 
quietly accepted my decision, and the daily walks through the 
Tiergarten were continued. There were no scenes between my hus- 
band and myself. I should have respected him more if there had 
been. While I despise women who regard their function as their 
husbands' cook and child-bearer as the whole of life, I still believe 
that a proper man must be the master in his own home. Women's 
lack of emotional control keeps them nearer the earth than men, 
and we can overcome our earthiness only if we have a man beside 
us, helping us and controlling our lapses. My experience on the 
Galapagos Islands with Baroness Wagner-Bousquet confirmed me 
in this theory. She was the arch-type of a woman dominated wholly 
by feeling and the most primitive urges; and of the young males 
with whom she was surrounded, not one was man enough to make 
his curbing influence felt. How different was the life which Dr. 
Ritter and I led on Floreana! Ours was an attempt entirely to stifle 
the animal in us wherever it interfered, as it so often must, with 
mutual happiness on a higher plane; and, wherever the emotional 
threatened to disturb our mental harmony, to rescue this at the 
cost of the other no matter how hard that might be. For myself I 
must confess that the victories I achieved in my own struggle to 
intellectualize the emotional side of our relationship were dearly 
  It was a painful shock to me to have to admit that my legal 

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