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The Thistle

[Seniors],   pp. [9]-[11]

Page [9]

Senior Class 1history 
R. SKYGACK, inhabitant of the great           Fourth Visit, when Seniors-Upon
my fourth 
planet of Mars, came down upon        return I induced one of the young ladies,
earth to visit the Freshman class in  Josephine Salchert, to accompany me
to Mars. 
the year of 1904, and continued to visit this  Josephine had always longed
to hitch her 
class every year, making his last visit in 1908.  wagon to a star, and when
I asked her to be 
The yearly reports to his home people were   my only, only, she came on condition
that I 
as follows:                                  should tell her the future of
the class she loved 
so well. Here it is January 1, 1918: 
First Visit, when Freshmen-The Freshmen      Ida Bach rivalling Carrie Nation
in striking 
are extremely bright and pay so much atten-   a blow for "touch not
the cup." 
tion to their studies that they have time for  William Temple the greatest
bareback rider 
nothing else of importance. The next year    of his age, traveling with a
circus of renown, 
will surely show the results of their labor.  four ponies and a monkey. 
S ed Vii, when Sophomores-The class is     Grace Gomber, drawing a cool $1,300
a week, 
fourteen in number and is a bright, studious,  in Chicago playing in vaudeville.
jolly class. I found that they had been moved  Tony Gustin having a seat
on the Board of 
across the hall, where their influence might he  Trade and so busy with speculation
that all 
felt by the young eighth graders, so that they  that the world seems to say
to him is: "Wheat, 
might be able to live the next year in the -re-  wheat, wheat." 
fined" atmosphere of the Juniors and Seniors.  Josephine Volk, for a
living, playing Topsy 
Their characteristics vary, as do their names,  in Uncle Tom's Cabin; for
pleasure, dictator 
which include from a church (Win. Temple)    to the King of Portugal. 
to grace (Grace G ), which lends assistance    Joe Salchert, dissatisfied
because of his 
in teaching the eighth graders. Brides are   highly pitched voice, is diving
into the ocean 
numerous in this class, but grooms are miss-  for bass. 
ing. Orators, musicians and athletes are win-  Ila Saunders, way off from
home and mother, 
ning for them great renown. Some of their    running an ostrich farm in California.
girls have electrified the world with their ora-  wear feathers in her hat.
tory. The best singers of the High School      Harry Elliott in Utah City.
Lonesome? Of 
they possess. As tenor, Ward Caldwell took    course not. Could anyone be
lonesome with 
the lead. Sopranos are: Veo Saunders, Ida    twenty devoted wives to make
things sweet 
Bach, Emma Patterson; altos, Josephine Sal-  and a salt palace just for flavoring?
chert, Josephine Volk and Della Wagner, with   That the brilliant future
predicted by me for 
two left for bass, Effie Caldwell and Ila Saun-  the class of '08 may all
come true, is the earn- 
ders, but they didn't seem to make a practice  est prayer of this creature
from Mars. 
of singing much. ' 
Third Visit, when Juniors-As Juniors they 
are somewhat reduced in numbers, but still 
possess their ability to do work. I missed a 
few of the jolly faces of the previous year, 
but upon inquiry I found them still sitting in  Jimmie-"Mamma, I want
to ask an im- 
the Sophomore rows. The class is especially   portant question." 
fond of geometry and German. Their favorite    Mamma-"Well, what is
refreshment for spreads is the baked potato.   Jimmie-"If a boy is a
lad and has a step- 
In entertaining Seniors they beat the Dutch.  father, is he a step-ladder?"-Ex.

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