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Bye-bye barbarians,
You were born lazy and you'll die lazy!
I'm amazed you don't know
The dignity of labour.
And now I go to Franciana across the channel
And in a manner polite I ask
       "What do you do?"
"Tres bien, merci, an ow do you do?"
I said, "Dammit, I didn't say how do you do,
Jay demand Kay ...
0, where the hell's my dictionairee
All I wanted to know was what do you do?
Or better still what were you talking about
      just before I came?"
'Earthquakes." 'Where?," 'In Los Angeles.'
"O my God! Haven't you heard of my
       clicking world?
All civilized men know about it, at least!
And for heaven's sake, stop eating horse's meat!"
I must quit this place before I go native!
Italiana, here I come!
The natives were talking intellectual things:
What Panel X will do in Philadelphia.
"I thank you very much; I think
       you're wasting your time!
Why don't you put your tongue here
       and make a dental click,
And then put it there
       and make a palatal click,
Lastly put it over there
       and make a lateral click
And then you aspirate and nasalize
       and radicalize
And play little tricks like that
       to get your multiples of three.
Clicks are never-failing charmers
And they often succeed where other things
        have failed
As when a charming lady
Lips half-parted in wonderment,
Says "Do it again" as you click click click
In multiples of three:
"O my fair ladee
Would you agree
If I wooed thee
With a multiple of three?"
(Click clack cluck
Click clack cluck
Click clack cluck and-a
Click clack cluck)
And now I'm off with my bags
       to Germania
And thenI find they are talking of Nigeria
"Telescopic philanthropy?" I ask
."Can't you see I came here to philanthropize?
Leave Nigerians alone and listen to my clicks!"
Clicks ar(
       a]
Much frul
       is
like bees
Ad where they most abound
t of sense beneath
really found
Some converts here, a few converts there,
And so I twrite it down in my diaree.
And now I turn a little north to Swedania:
"We are talking 'bout sex,"
       even before I asked
"It is a continuing conversation
       i our part of the globe!
Will you oin us, sir? It is a beautiful thing!"
"Just for; a while, I guess, as long as you understand
That all I need are credits for my Ph.D."
"Plenty cI edits here, sir."
I tarried
      we
And wha
       is
Nor for I
       td
ior a while as you can
11 imagine
: I wrote within my diary
not for mama's eyes!
apa's, for that matter,
ough men have stronger hearts.
Being refreshed by my experience
       irn Swedania
I went to many other countries
And all tixe natives were doing
       w as talk talk talk:
Food has its of West Africa (yams)
The British and their peculair attitude
       towards their history (?)
How does American policy on the Congo
       get fabricated
History of Africa-military regime in
       9hana's hinterland
Somethir g aboutjobs for graduate students
Food an, d separatism in Canada;
Montreal as a city; a bit about
       4frican research.
Not very exciting, especially after Swedania.
But then I came into the land of Norwegenia.
"Welcome, lonely stranger, we talk of many hings:
Oxford and Cambridge and bumper stickers.
But our ltaple is sex and Norwegian omelette"
"Yes, O yes, I will stay for a little while.
But pleas e take note . . . "
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