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Wisconsin alumni magazine
Volume 13, Number 5 (Feb. 1912)

Chloupek, E. J.
The counts of no account,   pp. [240]-242

Page 242

him to please the highest climbers
of social fame in the Ex-Clu. He
stood  about five foot seven  in
height. His jet black hair ,was
combed back   in a -wavy pompa-
dour, and in fact his dark, flashing
eyes, black wax-pointed mustache,
and long Prince Albert crowned,
as it were, his "Count-ness." But
when he gracefully bowed over the
extended hand of each co-ed and
daintily kissed it, the Society peers
felt as if they were being wafted
into the realm of old world courts.
  "But gentlemens," he suggest-
ed when seated at the table, and
informed that the girls present
were also students. "Gentlemens,
zer cannot be lonesomeness wiz so
many exquisite ladies continual-
  To which Clif Bard laughingly
responded, turning to Mibbs, that
they never experienced lonesome-
ness, and Mibbs murmured "the
Dear" to herself. The 'Count was
naturally asked whether the pop-
ular rumor about duels being so
universal in the old country was a
true one, to which he answered by
showing several scars that were
"fit for ze honor of ze family."
He asked to be excused for his
"indescromances in   ze  Englesh
langwich, for in ze education I had
ze German teacher and ze French;
one says 'zat' and ze ozer 'dat'
and so I not know wheech I am
  "You vill pardon me ladies,"
and   then he continued. "Vell,
you ask me wheech beer I like ze
best, German or ze American'? And
I muz answer zat you take ze Ger-
man beer you can trink, trink, and
trink, and nozing happens; but
you take ze American beer, and if
you take more zen tree stein you
get ze quar zenzation in ze head,
and go off on ze American gentle-
men's spree and try to reach boz
ends of ze sidewalk once at ze same
time.  So   I  understand."   He
added with a smile.
  Just as the laugh ended this
sally of the Count's, the gathering
was suddenly brought to its feet by
theentrance of a person who seem-
ed to be his exact count3rpart.
The newcomer walked up to the
Count, bowed to him, and sneered
at him    "impostor."  But they
were thrown into another bewild-
erment when the Count stood up
and said, "You zink zat you will
again get what it is called, my
goat'? It shall not be! I ask you
to fit now for ze honor of ze family
to prove your treecks on me."
  It can easily be imagined that
the society column ran a good sec-
ond to the sporting news item, in
describing the dinner in honor of
the Count von Yahnsderf. Just
below a triangle picture group of
Miss Mibbs Elder, Mr. Clif Bard,
and the Count was a write up,
part of which read:
  "just after the second entree
  Count had accepted the first
  Count's   challenge to  mortal
  combat they   both  arose, ad-
  vanced to the door arm in arm,
  turned about, pulled off each
  others mustaches, and gravely
  said, 'The Counts of No Ac-
  counts, Monsieurs   Flint  and
  Larkwell.' *   *  *,"

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