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Cook, George H. (ed.) / The Wisconsin engineer
Volume 40, Number 3 (December, 1935)

Ears, Engin
"Static",   p. 56


Page 56


"4STATIC"b
                               By ENGIN EARS
            * Well, the semester rose to its
~WE ~WAT A/ - greatest heights these past several
weeks, and everyone has had his
chance to shine. Even the faculty
outdid itself. What with the Poly-
gon Dance and running the heating
plant, lots of things could easily
                    happen. Even our beloved lawyers
                    squirted themselves into the public
eye with a dance (it might be well to state that, due to
their peculiar properties of viscosity and cohesion, only
wet things squirt).
  The Polygon Dance was a charm. Did you notice that
not one of the civils wore hi-cut shoes? And that Poly-
gon's ex-prexy, G. 0. Nieman, Min.4, left his pipe home?
Pat Hyland reported no drunks . . . maybe the lawyers
ought to get him for their chaperon.
* Heating plant? Test? Huh? Oh, that! Well, don't
bother me . . . I'm tired. (Did you think that was John
Van Vleet, M.E.4? Then you're wrong. He slept through
it all. He and Sanderson, same vintage, believe in preserv-
ing their healths by sleeping . . . of course, when they're
not sleeping, there are other preservatives.) The whole
test was quite a success, and it was so warm all over that
even the lake didn't freeze. But that heating plant test has
Polygon nettled. For the last three years now, the Steam
& Gas Department generously gives you a choice between
the dance and the heating plant test. The Polygon boys
are now trying to find out if the dance can be run in the
heating plant.
* Have you been wondering about the cover of this issue?
Well, if you haven't had a course in Machine Design, you
might just as well appreciate the color and forget the rest,
because the contrivance thereon drawn uses a spring. This
cover was put on with the hope that you would take it
home for Christmas (just in case your profs hadn't given
you enough already) and try to work out the force with
which the Jumping Jack would leave the box. You might
also try to figure out just what would happen if you had
the box close to your face when you opened it. Those of
you who get one from Santa Claus, try to get it away
from your father long enough to get us some data on it.
(It may not be such a good cover, but then look at the
Octy.)
* We hope you will have a very nice Christmas and a
hilarious New Year.
* The faculty? Oh yes, they're still with us. From all
reports, Major Larson is still successfully conducting his
Armature Hour, and he will soon have the chemicals in
his E.E.8 course well enmeshed in deduction motors.
  Professor Ingersoll, of the physics department, is either
studying to be a Boy Scout or else he must feel that he
needs the exercise, because he spent one-half of one lec-
ture demonstrating fire-by-friction to his sophomore phys-
icists, most of whom had performed that experiment at the
tender age of thirteen.
  Dr. Watts put in his lament the other day when he
mumbled something about the Tau Beta Pi initiates being
"a little slow on the up-take," since they ruined some of
his polishing wheels preparing their plaques. By the way,
Prof. Watts had a substitute during a brief absence some
time ago. This is the treatment the poor sub got in one of
the electrochem classes.
  Instructor: " ..... the impurities in iron, which ......
  R. Stubbings: "What do you mean, 'the impurities in
iron'?"
  Inst.: "Well, just the ordinary impurities always found
in commercial iron."
  R. S.: "Well, what are they?"
  Inst.: "Well, I might ask you that-what are they?"
  R. S.: "Well, I asked you first."
  Inst.: "Well, you've had metallography more recently
than I."
  Stubbings finally won . . . the instructor named the im-
purities.
x When asked if he had a certain E.A. problem done,
Charlie Halamka replied, "No, but I've got a fellow work-
ing on it." This suggests something. Why not have Dad
buy you a few stooges for Christmas, so that you could
have someone to carry the heavy part of your program.
You could have, say, one in your Freshman year, two in
your Soph., etc. You could carry a few credits yourself,
just to keep your hand in. Look at the work it would save
you, and imagine the field it would open up for unem-
ployed stooges! Do your shopping early.
S Incidentally, did you know that Jack Meyer, Ch.E.4, is
getting together a staff to take in all his fan mail? He is
playing the part of a priest in "Seventh Heaven" at the
University Theatre. Gus Lehrkind, E.E.4, is chief electri-
cian of the theatre, and he will keep his fellow engineer
well in the lights. Luna Leopold, C.E.4, has quite a part
in "The Green Goddess." Looks as if the boys are desert-
ing the stages of turbines for other kinds of stages.
The Wisconsin engineer
I3age 56


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