University of Wisconsin Digital Collections
Link to University of Wisconsin Digital Collections
Link to University of Wisconsin Digital Collections
The University of Wisconsin Collection

Page View

Nicholson, D.C. (ed.) / The Sphinx
Vol. 8, No. 1 (September 22, 1906)

The Sphinx,   pp. [unnumbered]-ix


Page 4

4                                     The Sphinx
Directions for Intrants.
When you get to Madison, register.    If
you don't register, you can't vote. Regis-
ter in the new administration building at
the corner of Park and State streets, oppo-
site the Library. The best method is the
flying wedge; some authorities favor the
tandem back play and it sometimes suc-
ceeds. We advise you to collect a few
husky friends, select one of their number
to act as the head of the wedge, agree upon
signals and prepare for battle. As leader
you will be permitted to bring up the rear.
When your friends have made their rush
and the wedge is stuck fast in the doorway
it is your cue to take a running start and
jump to their shoulders; once on your feet
you can step from head to head and so
make your way over, rather than through
the crowd; they will be so interested in
other things that they will not notice your
passage provided you step with reasona-
ble care. The Registrar is the worried
looking man with the smile. Tell your
troubles to him; he will soothe you. Once
having registered, you have but to wait
until dark when the crowd will have left
and you can get out of the building.
Fees and Expenses.
Fees are paid in the Law Building. This
is done so that our future lawyers may, by
observation, become calloused to taking
your money.     Cough up gracefully, the
worse is yet to come.
The incidental fee is $10.00.
Note: This is a free university. The fact, while
not obvious at first glance, becomes apparent by
comparison with the kindred institution of the free
lunch. There you deposit a nickel and receive the
lunch; here you spew up $10 and get a piece of an
education. Only in the first case you have the beer,
while in the second you have merely a receipt and
a feeling of bereavement.
Important.
Men   students  must take gymnastics
(freshmen are counted as men for conve-
nience). Fee: $1.00; for short course
$.75 Hence, women, scenting a bargain,
take the short course. Women are re-
quired to provide a gym suit, consisting of
two parts.
Male intrants must drill, in a uniform of
prescribed thickness.
(Note: We, the Sphinx, has one for sale, built
for a moan five or six feet tall, waist twenty-three,
foot twelve, collar thirteen; no matter what your
figure, we guarantee it to fit like those of the
official tailors; we have worn it as little as we could
without getting conned.)
Chemistry: deposit $15 to $25, depend-
ing on what you have on your person when
held up. Size of refund depends on your
moral character (not your present moral
character, but the character you will have
after you have been here a while) and the
vigilance of the supply-room man.
Books are very expensive; we feel sure
that you will have to write home for more
money.
Board in Madison varies in price from
$4.00 to $2.50, and in quality from bad to
worse.
Rooms are without exception moderate
in price, sunny, well-ventilated, cool in
summer and uncomfortably warm in win-
ter. We can prove this by the cards on
the bulletin boards.
Excellent accomodations may be had
at the large stone hotel on the corner of
Park street and University avenne. Fresh-
men are advised to enquire there.
Principal Campus Buildings.
Main Hall is the ornate three piece
building with the over-grown cupola. It is
the color of an extremely blonde Jersey
cow, and it sits on the top of University
Hill like a hen on a hay rick. The chem-
istry  building  is the pseudo-fireproof
structure with the bad smell. North and
South Halls are modelled after the same
soap box. The Engineering building may
be identified by the feet which adorn its
windowsills. The Law building invariably
has a long youth leaning against its east
side smoking Bull Durham.
Science Hall inadequately surrounds Pro-
fessor Snow. You can hear the School of
Music anywhere in Dane county. Farmer's
Home, Ferdy's, Hausman's, etc.-see Y.
M. C. A. handbook.
Selection of Courses.
Persons of strong mind with no insanity
in their family for five generations back,
may safely attempt to glean information
from the University catalog. This docu-
ment was compiled in 1852 by eleven
different committees working at separate
times; it was put together in the dark; and
the proof was read by a cross-eyed boy in
a state of trance. For the benefit of fresh-
men and other persons of feeble intellect,
the university  provides class advisers,
whose duty it is to tell you what studies
you ought to want to take. The usual
office hours of class advisers are from 1:00
to 1:05 p. m. on Mondays and Fridays.
4
The Sphinx


Go up to Top of Page