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Godfrey, Kneeland, Jr. (ed.) / The Wisconsin engineer
Volume 59, Number 4 (January 1955)

Drops, I. R.
Static,   pp. 54-56 ff.


Page 54


by 1. R. Drops
  Mlary on her bright new skates
  Around the pond did frisk
  Now wasn't she a little fool
  I1er little *
  A man fell overboard on a Car-
ibbean liner and screamed for help
as he saw a school of man eating
sharks heading his way. A famous
criminal lawyer called from the
liner, "I'll help you," and dove in
the ocean. Immediately the sharks
formed a two-lane escort and con-
voyed the two men back to the
ship. "It's a miracle," cried the res-
cued man. "Not at all," said the
lawyer, "merely professional cour-
tesy."
  Students are like blotters; they
absorb what the instructor says,
l)lbt get it backwards.
             *  *  *
  Professor: "Well, what did you
think of the course?"
  Student: "I thought it was very
well covered. Everything that
wasn't covered during the semes-
ter was covered on the final."
             * * *
  "Did you get home from the
party all right last night?"
  "Fine, thanks, except that as I
was turning into my driveway some
idiot stepped on my fingers."
             * 0 *
   Little Jack Horner
   Sat in a corner
   Crib notes under his eye.
   He opened his book
   And took a quick look,
   And now he's a Tau Bet Pi.
             v * *
  Want Ad: Young man transfer-
ring from Engineering to Bus. Ad.
would like to trade one good study
lamp for a comfortable bed.
  Two men, strangers, met on the
golf links and agreed to play
around the course together. After
a couple of holes they got behind
two very slow women. One man
offered to ask the women if they
might go ahead. When he returned
he said he hadn't asked because
just as he neared them he recog-
nized his wife and girl friend. Un-
derstanding the situation the other
gentleman offered to ask the ladies.
In a few seconds he returned, only
to comment, "Small world, isn't it?"
            * *1 *
  It isn't age that makes engineers
sensible, it's the lack of strength
for raising hell.
  Then there was the Scotsman
who wrote the editor saying that
if any more Scotch stories ap-
peared in his columns, he'd quit
borrowing the magazine.
            * * *
  A college graduate was out hunt-
ing for a job. While waiting to see
the manager, he struck up a con-
versation with the office boy.
  "Do you suppose there is an
opening here for a college gradu-
ate?"
  "There certainly will be," re-
plied the boy, "unless the boss
raises my salary to $25 a week."
            1* * *
  Deft-nition: Deficit-What you
have got when you haven't got as
much as you had when you had
nothing.
  It is remarkable how many
doubtful meanings an alleged pure-
minded person can find in an en-
tirely respectable joke.
  Professor to the noisy class: "Or-
der, please."
  A voice from the rear of the
room: "Two beers."
  A married man returned home
one night at a late hour and, hav-
ing difficulty with his equilibrium,
made considerable noise in the
hallway. Suddenly there was a
sound of crashing glass which
awakened his wife.
  "John," she called, "what's the
matter?"
  From downstairs came a low
mumble, "I'll teach those damn
goldfish to bark at me."
             *  a  *
  Student: Well, what do you think
of our little college town?
  Visitor: It certainly is unique.
  Student: What do you mean
"Unique"?
  Visitor: It's from the Latin
"Unus" meaning "one" and "equus"
meaning "horse".
             * * *
  This column doesn't cost much
to produce because raw material is
cheap.
  Editor: "Give me a sentence
with the word 'Discrepancy' in it."
  Joke Editor: "Read discrepancy
how you like it."
            * * *
  If it's funny enough to tell, it's
been told; if it hasn't been told it's
too clean; and if it's dirty enough
to interest an engineer, the editor
gets kicked out of school.
  Voter: "Why, I wouldn't vote for
you if you were St. Peter himself."
  Candidate: "If I were St. Peter,
you couldn't vote for me-you
wouldn't be in my district."
THE WISCONSIN ENGINEER
54


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