University of Wisconsin Digital Collections
Link to University of Wisconsin Digital Collections
Link to University of Wisconsin Digital Collections
The University of Wisconsin Collection

Page View

Godfrey, Kneeland, Jr. (ed.) / The Wisconsin engineer
Volume 59, Number 2 (November 1954)

Drops, I. R.
Static,   p. 45


Page 45


STATIC
       by I. R. Drops
  Sing a song of sulfides,
  A beaker full of lime,
  Four and twenty test tuibes
  Breaking all the time.
  When the cork is taken out,
  The fumes begin to reek.
  Now isn't that an awful mess
  To have five times a week?
  Bachelor: A guy who is foot-
loose and fiancee free.
             *  *  *
  "Mech. Eng.: I hear the Student
Council is trying to stop necking.
  Chem. Eng.: That so? First thing
you know they'll be trying to make
the students stop, too.
             * *
  "Beg your pardon, but aren't you
an engineering student?"
  "No-it's just that I couldn't find
my suspenders, my razor blades
were used up, and a car ran over
my hat."
  A bee stinger is .03125 inch long.
The other 24 inches is your imagi-
nation.
            * v *
  Old Navy man, leaning over rail
of ship: "I see you have a weak
stomach."
  Seasick Oliver: "I don't know
about that. I'm getting pretty fair
distance with it!"
  An EE stared into a mirror one
morning and, noting his bloodshot
eyes, resolved never to go into a
bar again. "That television," he
muttered, "is ruining my eves."
NOVEMBER, 1954
  Girls are like newspapers: They
all have forms, they always have
the last word, back numbers are
not in demand, they have great
influence, you can't believe every-
thing they say, they're thinner than
they used to be, they get along by
advertising, and every man, should
have his own and not try to borrow
his neighbors.
Bachelor:~ ~ ~ ~ A  gu   h  i  ot
  "Watt-hour you doing there?"
  "Eating currents," the apprentice
said, "anode you'd catch me at it."
  "Wire you insulate this morn-
ing?" asked the boss.
  "Leyden bed. Wouldn't that jar
you?"
  "Can't your relay-shunts get you
up?"
  "Amperently not."
  "Fuse going to do that every day
you can go ohm," said the boss,
and the circuit was broken right
there.
  Once upon a time, as the story
goes, the fence between Heaven
and Hell broke down. Satan ap-
peared at his side of the broken
section and called out to St. Peter;
"Hey, St. Peter, since all the engi-
neers are over on your side, how
about sending a few to fix the
fence?"
  "Sorry," replied St. Peter, "my
men are too busy to fix fences."
  "Well, then," said Satan, "I'll
have to sue you if you don't."
  St. Peter: "Guess you win; you've
all the lawyers on your side."
  Men are peculiar, as women
have long suspected. For instance,
a man who had not kissed his wife
in five years just shot a fellow who
did.
  Blonde: "I'm going on a hayride
with a sailor, what do you think I
should take?"
  Friend: "Precaution."
  They say that things are so dry
in Arizona that even the trees are
going to the dogs.
            * * *
  A kiss is a peculiar proposition.
Useless to one, it is absolute bliss
to two. A small boy gets it for noth-
ing, a young man has to lie for it,
and an old man has to buy it. The
baby's right, the lover's privilege,
and the hypocrite's mask. To the
young girl, faith; to the married
women, hope; and to an old maid,
charity.
  He was a rather under- sized
freshman at his first college dance,
but despite his smallness and bash-
fulness he was sure of himself in
his own way. He walked over to a
beautiful and over-sophisticated
girl and said, "Pardon me, Miss,
but may I have this dance?"
  She looked down at his small size
and lack of fraternity pin and said,
"I'm sorry, but I never dance with
a child!"
  The freshman bowed deeply and
said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
vour condition."
45


Go up to Top of Page