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Gangelin, Paul; Hanson, Earl; Gregory, Horace (ed.) / The Wisconsin literary magazine
Volume XXI, Number 6 (March 1922)

Rockwell, Katherine
The confessions of a journalist or thinking in headlines,   p. 151


Page 151

c  WISCONSIN LITERARY MAGAZINE15
The Confessions of a Journalist
OR
Thinking in Headlines
KATHERINE ROCKWELL.
For two hours I have been grinding out headlines up
in Editing Lab, turning my thoughts into bold faced
type or perhaps giving a quasi-humorous bit of imag-
ination an italic slant in Chelt. Old Style. My brain
still laboring under the impetus given it by the neces-
sity of writing at least the required six heads continues
to function after the necessity is past, and as I stroll
down the hill I comment inwardly on persons, places
and things in terms of 18, 36, or 72 point, hanging
indention pyramid, or crossline flush.
Slips! Heavens! That's the time I almost take
a fall. Darn slippery hill that. Why I might have
broken my neck.
Co-ed Breaks Neck on Slippery Hill.
Probably that would rate about a front page num-
ber 8 head in the Cardinal and it would be reprinted
all over the state. Mentally I start writing my own
obituary, only to catch myself as I come to the phrase,
"She was well thought of by all who knew her." At
that point I started counting up the people who, I
thought, ought to be sorry about my tragic death, and
incidentally, I remembered several persons who would
probably be on the fence under the softening influence
which death has on the attitude of one's ertwhile ene-
mies, together with the fear which people have of
speaking ill of the dead. I decided right then and
there that I would certainly haunt anyone who spoke
ill of me after my decease. It would probably read
in the papers like this:
Sorority House Haunted
Spirit of Dead Girl
Comes to Seek Revenge
As I visualised the path that my potential ghostly
visit would take I was startled out of my reverie by the
shrill screams of a soprano. I could not distinguish
the words but one does not enunciate in times of dis-
tress, even in the Music School, from whence the
sounds were coming. I had heard cries of this nature
before issuing from this building and I remembered
rumors and voices that kept saying,
"It certainly sounds as though some one were being
killed in there."
And yet no one ever went in and investigated.
Again the shriek sounded. I would go. It would
take bravery but it would be worth it.
Medal Awarded for Rescue by Wisconsin Co-ed
5 Credits Toward June Graduation Given
By Faculty
I was opening the door when I heard Peter yell and
ask me how long since I had entree to the Choral
Union. I did not explain. It would have been awk-
ward; but instead I joined him and when he said that
he was hungry enough to eat tacks or steal, and would
I go with him to Lawrence's for food to eat, I
acquiesced and started muttering under my breath.
Starving Man
Subsists I Mo.
On Stolen Tacks
He evidently heard me for he asked,
"What the      ?
I didn't answer but instead pointed to a group of
"little urchins" sliding down the hill and remarked:
"Madison Kiddies
Enjoy King Winter"
I think I would use an italic face on that"
Peter stopped in front of me and looked me full in
the eyes, first with an expression of dumb wonder, then
slow comprehension dawned, and finally with a look
of commiserating pity, he remarked in a choked voice,
"Oh I see,
Cuckoo Girl
Wanders Witless
On College Campus
Suffers Under Illusion
She Is Mother Eve-
Labels All Creation
"Yes, said I,
Eve Encounters Serpent
On Slippery Hill
Where
Is Adam?"
"Oh," said the serpent, "We'll find him at the tree
of life."
As we sat hunched around Lawrence's counter eat-
ing, I contentedly mused,
Paradise Party Partake
Of Baked Apples and Cream
None Are the Wiser.
March, 1922
151


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